Being a MomSter (Mom & Master) Student in Melbourne!

Wominjeka, Widya!

24 Feb 2025 

Around 1 year ago, I began my new life chapter in a new continent. A neighbour country. 8 hours direct flight from Jakarta. Australia. Melbourne then becomes a place I called home, at least as the address in any registration form I have filled at the moment.

After a 12-gap-year study, I then continue this dream that turns out never dies inside of me. It was started not long time after my mother departed to her journey in different form of life. I remember that it was time I never imagined in life and I felt a big hole inside of me has made me a little bit frustrated. I didn't know what to do nor what should I do next. I thought I need to do something, but what? Should I continue something that I didn't do for so long, escaping from my daily routine? But, what and how? And could I?

Until I found myself browsing the internet looking for scholarships offers, and I realised that this scholarship world has another level of struggles.There were so many things that I have to catch-up, from the unfamiliar terms and those challenging steps. Many obstacles and barriers I had to break through, considering that I was at the lowest hierarchy in my institution. And not to forget my daily activities as a mom of 2 years old and also my updated duties in taking care of the household after my mom passed away. I understood that the only time I have were during my commute when I go to the office, back-and-forth, and after my daughter went to bed, which then made most of my night time were lack of sleeps (or sleepless nights).

At first, I did it very compulsively. I drafted my essay roughly and very self-centred. I even embarrassed when I re-read those essays. I didn't have that sufficient self-confident, even for asking someone to re-check my essay (or proofread, they said), I felt that it is too embarrassing if I can't pass the test. So I made it very low-key, that only few people know the process, even they didn't know in details. But it's fine because I read somewhere that "keep it secret until you make it". Was it true? Well, maybe. Perhaps because that's the things that I did.

I applied to AAS 2 times (the second one was totally failed due to one letter was left unsubmitted, but that's another story because it was because of unpredicted unprofessional manners from unexpected part) and 1 time Chevening within 2 years, until I finally made up my mind to apply the second batch LPDP in 2024. Frankly speaking, this was my second attempt for LPDP, as the first one I did in 2015 (really a long dream, right). I wasn't sure about applying for LPDP, maybe a little bit traumatised from the first one lol! But, when I listed my pros and cons I knew that I have more possible reasons to apply for it. I am on my align career path to my background now compare to my position almost 10 years ago.

I did learn many things from the scholarship hunter journey, but one thing that really stuck with me is to acknowledge and accept my weaknesses. From this underpinning contemplation I realise what I have to repair in shaping my journey and planning my next steps. I understand that if I can't accept what I have to fix within me, then how can I make a progress and be a better me. I know I'm still far from good person, but I know that doing nothing will not take me anywhere. The only worth competition that I have is with myself, apparently with my yesterday version, am I doing better day by day or it's just the same me along the years.

I am so grateful that finally I took my baby steps that lead me to where I am now. I know it's not because of me, but the way Allah inspired me through the journey. The strengths that Allah gave me in those sleepless nights, having shifting roles, crying tons of tears, passing through heartbreaking moments, being underrated, feeling dismissed, and many things in between. All I have to do is trying and walking through the obstacles, and let Allah do the rest.